INTERNAL vs. EXTERNAL MOTIVATION - Part 1: Some Secrets for Motivation, finding Meaning in Life and Understanding Others

The Pen and Sword Journal - Vol 33

In one way or another, most people have things they desire, goals they want to achieve, dreams they aim to make come true, and an image of who they aspire to become. Some people want to lose weight, be healthy, make more money, become an engineer, artist, dedicate themselves to sports, martial arts, and more. All these varieties give our life many colors and make our journey in this life unique. Yet, people's chances of achieving any of these goals depend not just on how motivated they are, but also on the source of that motivation.

Our hierarchy of needs

Before progressing further in this article, we will first explore one of the most accurate and practical psychological theories regarding the things that motivate us. It is also known as Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and it is for me one of the greatest life lessons. That is because not only it helped me to know myself better and clarify what motivates me, but it was also a great eye-opener for understanding others, comprehending what motivates them, and, why not, predicting their moves.

I will start by sharing the illustration of the Hierarchy of Needs:

In other words, these needs represent:

1. Physiological needs

All the essentials required to keep our physical bodies alive, functioning and in relatively good shape. We don't need to put any effort to experience this need, because our instinctual survival drive pushes us to seek food, water, air, comfort, shelter, and so on. This is our most short-term need and the one that must be fulfilled most frequently.

2. Safety needs

These safety needs are somewhat more long-term than the first. They include the desire for order, health, predictability, and control in life. It involves ensuring the continuous fulfillment of the necessities from the previous needs for as long as possible, and also includes emotional security.

These two first needs are one of the main reasons why humans naturally tend to produce society by grouping together and collaborating since ancient times. It is easier to meet these two first needs if people stick and work together. In more developed stages, like a domino effect, it is also what gives rise to the structures of modern society and institutions.

Also, it is most certainly the main reason why people must have a job, even though it may be a job they don’t enjoy or partially enjoy.

We can say that these needs until this point (especially the first) have more instinctual roots.

3. Love and belongingness needs

These needs have more emotional roots. They reflect the primary reason why we make friends, hang out in different places, participate in various activities, and join different clubs or organizations. It is our need to connect emotionally with others.

These needs manifest in our early childhood and become very dominant during adolescence. From my personal experience and according to many studies, I can confidently say that during adolescence, fulfilling this need is the highest purpose one perceives. Everything, actions, emotions and thoughts are centered around fulfilling this need.

That’s why this period is very delicate, and it's a time when someone, more than ever, needs a guiding parent or a mentor. In most cases, during adolescence, people don’t think much about the long term. They go to school because they have to, and if something more enjoyable, like hanging out with friends, comes up, they are tempted to skip school for a day (if not more) because “having that fun” seems more important to them. Of course, this last example of behavior comes also as a result of many problems to address in the education system today, which tend to favor External Motivation over Internal Motivation. I will focus more on this in the second article of this series.

The thing I want to emphasize more is that the newly emotionally developed brain and hormonal changes during this stage make it difficult for people to think long term. They find it challenging to see their education and grades as an investment that will open many doors for their future careers. They will begin to envision and invest more in their future when the fourth need I'll discuss next becomes predominant, typically occurring in the twenties. Surely, this phase and this need are not something negative. They are part of our journey as humans, but, as I said before, without the help of a guiding parent and mentor, people risk taking many self-destructive paths and making many mistakes they will later regret.

There are exceptions, of course, of people who, since adolescence, think long term and are not easily distracted, but in my opinion they represent the minority. I wasn't one of them, for sure, and most of the people I know aren't either during this period of their lives.

During my adolescent years, I mainly thought about ways to emotionally nourish myself, in simple words, finding ways to have fun without thinking much about the consequences oftentimes. When this emotional need of mine was blocked by something or someone, it was "me against the world." Perceiving things like the world is against you (SPECIFICALLY YOU) is definitely a sign of emotional immaturity. In some uncommon cases, I have seen some adults past their thirties bear this emotional frame in their mindset and behavior. As you can expect, they always create conflict in the workplace, social circles, family, etc. That’s because this kind of egocentrism, this kind of thinking that one is “the center of the universe”, makes one weak emotionally, leading to drama and overreacting. Also, it contradicts the virtue of humility, which is needed to keep our arrogance and inflated ego in check.

We will have Love and belongingness needs for the rest of our life, and they will represent a healthy aspect of our emotional life, when nourished in a healthy manner and balanced with the other following needs.

As this need is fundamentally about being part of a community and feeling a sense of belonging, it is crucial to carefully select the social circle one associates with. Just as we need to choose healthy food for our body to stay healthy, we must also be cautious in selecting our social group. Our psyche and emotions are influenced by them more than we may realize. If we satisfy this need with an excessively toxic and harmful social group, our emotional well-being will not flourish.

When individuals are not validated in fulfilling this need, or if they have been part of an unhealthy social group, they might feel compelled to engage in activities they neither enjoy nor approve of. This is often driven by the fear of being excluded from the group.

For example, you have two people that are being nice on the outer appearance when interacting with others. The first is a mature person who chooses to be nice willingly. The second, however, wishes to convey disapproval about a certain topic within a social circle but fears rejection. Therefore, they wear a mask of a "nice person." On first sight, they both seem genuinely nice. Yet, as Miyamoto Musashi wrote in the Book of Five Rings, for the one "who perceives what cannot be seen with the eye," understanding goes beyond surface appearances.

People stuck in this phase, without awakening the satisfying of other needs as well, are susceptible to manipulation. This is one of the reasons why many cult-like environments thrive. They exploit the unmet emotional needs associated with this requirement to compel individuals to act in order to gain acceptance within a specific social circle.

4. Esteem needs

This need starts to manifest during adolescence, as a consequence of further development of our mind. As mentioned earlier, it tends to take on a more dominant role past the twenties. During this phase, people tend to focus more on being accepted by society for their abilities and values of their character.

Maslow divided esteem needs into two categories: the first being esteem for oneself (including dignity, achievement, mastery, and independence), and the second being the desire for reputation or respect from others (such as status and prestige).

Esteem reflects the common human aspiration to be valued. Individuals often pursue professions or hobbies to garner recognition, providing them with a sense of contribution or value.

A clear sign that someone is beginning to develop their fourth Esteem Needs, as outlined by Maslow, is when they no longer solely seek affection and acceptance with any cost from society. Instead, they now prioritize respect and possess a strong sense of dignity. These individuals no longer compromise respect for affection, they become more selective, and they have more clear standards. Formerly adolescents yearning for acceptance, they have now developed their own tools to confront life, becoming more self-assured. Their self-validation strengthens as they recognize their skills and worth.

However, imbalances during this level in the hierarchy can lead to low self-esteem, superiority or an inferiority complex. Maintaining a balance between the self-worth derived from proving ourselves to ourselves and gaining respect from others is crucial. When this balance is disrupted, two things might occur:

1- One might build a closed-off “hermetic” barrier against feedback from others and devalue their perspectives. By doing this people tend to develop narcissistic tendencies and a superiority complex. To overcome this, one should take into account the perspectives and feedback of others, compare them with their own, and arrive at a fresh conclusion. While there will be instances where your moral standards and convictions may not align with other viewpoints, it's important to recognize that one cannot be right 100% of the time. Healthy self-esteem is achieved when balanced with humility.

2- When one struggles to generate self-esteem independently. In such a scenario, the individual may not have had the opportunity to experience the satisfaction of their accomplishments for various reasons. Often, when this occurs during adolescence, individuals might become conditioned to believe they are unworthy in certain areas, leading to the development of an inferiority complex. The reactions of the individuals close to this person, especially family, following a failure play a crucial role.

If these close individuals respond by offering encouragement after a failure and view it as part of the learning process, there's a high chance that the person might develop a healthy sense of self-esteem. Conversely, if the opposite occurs, with close individuals passing judgment and bullying at a young age, the person may face serious issues and struggle to generate self-esteem independently. In this case people tend to mechanically and blindly approve of what others say, without first passing it through the filter of their mind and subjecting it to diligent examination of their critical thinking. Certainly, there are cases where individuals have successfully cultivated a positive sense of self-esteem despite facing challenging circumstances. Each person is unique and responds to circumstances in both a distinct and shared manner.

After one starts to mature into adulthood, this need manifest as the need for independence and desire for power. After one demonstrates to themselves that they are worthy and capable in various aspects, it is only natural that, as this insecurity diminishes, ambitions will grow stronger. A personal example of this is evident in some timid martial arts students who sought my advice and guidance when they were insecure at the beginning, and then, as soon as they gained skill and confidence, started challenging me. There's nothing wrong with that, by the way; one should never perceive this negatively. It simply indicates that the student is growing, and you have done a great job. Challenging in a respectful manner doesn't imply a lack of gratitude or respect. I see in those students myself, as I did the same with my coach, without disrespecting of course. It was just a healthy rivalry. Luckily for me, my coach didn’t have a cult-like mentality.

Coaches with a cult mentality or self-proclaimed teachers — because they are far from it — want students to submit to them, not question them, worship them, and call a traitor everyone who becomes an independent individual that has their own will and thoughts.

The desire for independency is one of the best things that can happen to human beings. Remember the myth Zeus that slays his father Cronos? This myth symbolically represents the transition of the student to a senior level, or of the boy to manhood. It's not about physically killing the father or master; instead, it signifies severing the emotional dependence and attachment the boy had towards the fatherly figure in a symbolic and psychological way. It's about "cutting the emotional umbilical cord with the family." As a man now, the father or master (it's the same dynamic) becomes more of a partner.

Interestingly enough, in many warrior cultures, their initiation rite, where the boy psychologically "died" and "was reborn" as the mature man psychology, is consistent with the idea that one had discovered their strengths and become more self-affirmed, more confident.

As mentioned, along with the desire for independence, there's a strong desire for power. It's crucial to keep this in check through constant introspection, humility, and self-restraint. In my experience, the quest for power involves taking two steps forward toward cultivating power and one step back to reflect, to stay humble, assimilate the experience, stay centered, and maintain balance. This desire for power is the desire of our ego. Everyone has it, even those who claim to be spiritually superior to others. The moment the concept of superiority arises, ego is involved. Personally, and according to many philosophers and psychologists, ego is not necessarily bad and is not the same as egoism.

Ego is what fuels our ambitions, and ambitions keep us moving forward. As human beings, we need to explore and develop our ego to the fullest before TRANSCENDING it. It's important to have elements in our lives that fulfill our ego, but we should also balance them with what fulfills our souls, the latter being related to the 5th need we will discuss next. For example, someone might aspire to excel in martial arts, their career, or any project because it brings fulfillment, while also making time for sacred moments with their family and loved ones. They even do things out of love and sacrifice for their kids and family.

Another example is someone pursuing martial arts for the development of physical strength while also using it as a psychological practice for self-improvement, as a way of life. It's possible to experience both aspects in life, and maintaining balance is crucial.

The real problem arises when the ego is left unchecked and spirals out of control. Many relationships are destroyed because of egos spiraling out of control, and numerous wars have been started as a consequence of this unchecked ego.

Quest for power = 4th need

Way of life = 5th need 👇

5. Self-actualization needs

This need level is about unlocking a person's full potential and reaching what they're capable of. This concept is what I’m referring to in the article I worte a few weeks agot, titled “Finding Your Personal BUSHIDŌ”. Maslow calls it the desire to achieve everything one can and "become everything one is capable of becoming."

People may pursue this need in specific ways. For example, someone might express it through athletics, martial arts or creative outlets like paintings, pictures, or inventions.

Maslow recognized that true self-actualization could be challenging for many, but he also noted that everyone has brief moments of it, called "peak experiences." These moments, connected to notable achievements in sports, making a positive impact on the world, or having a unique experience during a journey, are challenging to consistently attain.

This need doesn't have a specific age when it shows up. It could emerge as early as ten years old in the form of intuition, evolving into mental clarity in adulthood. Alternatively, it might manifest as a life-changing epiphany, perhaps during one's sixties. It's a potent force that surpasses the boundaries of both mind and age, originating from our unconscious. This concept is also linked to Carl Jung's Individuation process.

Maslow through the concept of Self-actualiation and Jung trough the concept of Individuation claimed that this is the only need that brings true self -fulfillment. I would add something else to this conclusion and I would say that: True self-fulfillment comes when one manifests the concept of IKIGAI.

This ilustration will explain it better.

Things to Clarify

Needless to say, this pyramid is not rigid, it has some differences for different humans, but still it is a great starting point to identify our needs and that of others.

Originally, it was thought that one must first satisfy the needs at the base of the pyramid before progressing to the other needs. For example, it was claimed that one needs to fill their stomach before being capable of working, finding the desire to hang out with friends, and pursuing their life goals. There is some truth here, however, the thing is that people prioritize and perceive the importance of fulfilling their needs differently based on their personality. For instance, there are many cases when someone is looking to satisfy other needs like seeking friends to hang around, even though they might struggle with physiological and security needs. On other occasions there are others who might close themselves off socially when facing financial and security issues. Let us not forget the religious monks who reduce their first four needs to the minimum, and devote themselves totally to their cause of self-actualization. Furthermore, the hermits go even further and skip the need for self-actualization, choosing the need for transcendence, and detaching psychologically from all the needs mentioned in the hierarchy of Maslow. They feed just to keep themselves alive, and skipped the desire for security, human connection and power. That is something very rare. In Aristotle’s words, someone who does that is either a beast or a divine being. I don’t know about that, but I know for sure right now I wouldn’t be able to do it. Anyway, what I want to point out is that individual differences play a significant role in how people navigate and prioritize their needs.

Conclusion: What good will the Hierarchy of Needs do for you?

I can certainly answer this question by saying, "a lot, perhaps more than one can think at first."I can’t stress it enough, this theory is a valuable life lesson. Let me list some of the ways it has helped me:

1. After implementing this theory in my life, I've developed the habit of giving every person I just started to know a score of zero out of 10. Don’t get me wrong here; I don’t do that because I dislike that person. In fact, I have not formed a single opinion about that person, YET. That’s exactly why I assign this score, because it represents the fact that I know nothing about that person. With time, as I communicate with this person more, this score might go up, stay where it is, or even go into the negative.

   People often make the mistake of creating false images of people they just meet, and this can cause disappointment and even hinder one’s observation abilities. By doing this, I've made sure to manage my expectations regarding others, and I rarely get disappointed.

2. It helped me read people better by improving the ability to pick out which is the dominating need (or needs) that someone else has in the period I am interacting with them. After that, I create an idea of to what extent I can count on that person and learn to adjust my actions accordingly.

   Let me give you some examples of what I mean. In work, I have encountered some people with a strong and unbalanced desire to get recognition from others they perceived as superiors, like the boss or managers. Knowing that they would sell me out and use a mistake I might make to earn some points with the managers, I was careful not to open up to them and reserved many details. Other colleagues, on the other hand, who made the mistake of letting them too close, suffered the consequences and paid with their work for it.

   Other examples: I have met people who are obsessed with making money. I learned not to put my trust in these people because they love money and use people, instead of using money and loving (or at least respecting) people. Also, people thirsty for power will give you a hard time if you stand in their way. Or someone with unfulfilled social needs, which, in my opinion, is even worse; they will try to put down someone they called a friend a minute ago just to get that emotional dose of attention in the group.

   Of course, these are some examples that I advise you to watch out for. There are also examples I respect. For instance, in my experience, I respect people with the need for power that have some principles, even though there can be my rivals. Alos, people that have self-actualization needs tend to have a certain spark for life, experience life to the fullest, possess more integrity, creativity, and a strong character. The people who have taught me the most valuable lessons in life are these kinds of people.

3. It helped me realize that what is harmful to us are not these needs per se; it is the way we choose how to satisfy them.

   • With our physiological needs, it is not a problem to be hungry, but eating junk food all the time becomes a problem.

   • With security needs, having a job to guarantee security for yourself and your family is something necessary and something that gives you dignity, no matter if you are the CEO or a beginner at some point. What is harmful is working with extended hours for an extend period which costs your physical and mental health, or doing jobs that destroy your dignity and that of your family.

   • With Love and belonging needs, having relationships and friends is one of the most valuable things. The problem is being in a toxic relationship or social circle, which consumes your energy and harms your mentality, emotional self-regulation and other structures of the psyche.

   • With Esteem needs, you should prove yourself. You need power to push through the difficulties of life. However, not at the cost of your humanity. A man of a strong character should have some principles.

4. The fourth need, as crucial as the first two, if not more, has played a significant role in helping me understand myself and my needs better. Each person has a specific need that acts like an "Achilles' heel." I've learned to be discreet about it, ensuring that those who might use it against me remain unaware. Most importantly, I've actively worked, and continue to do so, to transform this vulnerability into a strength.

   Everyone has a need on this hierarchy that can lead them to the greatest crisis they may experience. Make no mistake about that. For some, it’s money; for others, it’s relationships, the physical body, desire for power, recognition, etc. It depends on how our personality is built until now.

5. The last reason is that it helps me maintain a balance between Internal and External Motivation. This balance is crucial because it directly affects how consistent I can be when I set an objective, how susceptible I am to manipulation and negative influence from the outside, and how much strength I can draw from myself.

   This last point is what I'll focus on in Part 2 of this article next week. I'll share ways to identify internal and external motivators and how to balance them to be in your best possible shape physically, emotionally, and mentally.

   I focused more on the Hierarchy of Needs because, without delving deeper into it, it is more difficult to work with internal and external motivation. For me, it is a starting point, a necessity, before working with our self-discipline and inner motivation.

   Hope you enjoyed this article and make sure to not miss the Part 2 next week.

   Much respect! 🙏

   ---

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