7 Comments

Excellent piece, it reminded me of how I was growing up - I always looked for external validation from others, and I carried this over into my adult life. I am now slowly starting to sever this 'umbilical cord' as you mention.

I wrote a similar article on the same topic: https://stefanomiele97.substack.com/p/if-you-live-for-the-cheers-youll

I enjoyed reading this, I may have to buy the book!

Thanks for writing.

Expand full comment
Sep 19Liked by Martial X

What a deeply thought out and informed article! I cant agree more with all the points and references you have made. I was very fortunate to have been born in Kenya on a remote farm amongst the Masai and grew up with my black warrior brothers and was pretty much a part of their coming of age rituals (didnt have my foreskin chopped off, though, he he) More over, my father in all his wisdom drilled this one thing into me from an early age." Dont look for your confidence in the eyes of others"

Expand full comment
author

I’m happy for you Edwin. I would love to visit the Masai tribe one day, because I find many things about their culture fascinating.

“Don’t look for your confidence in the eyes of another”. 👌Love this. It’s exactly as I put it in “100 thoughts for the Inner Warrior”. 😊

Expand full comment

This is a very fine article. The neuroscience perspective is really intriguing. I had read about the link between the “dependence on external rewards” and the drive for self-motivation, and I like the way you explain it. Nice!

Expand full comment
author

I'm happy to hear that this article resonated with you, Michael. And indeed, it’s fascinating how our brain’s neural plasticity impacts our motivation and can be conditioned for the better. 😊

Expand full comment
Sep 18Liked by Martial X

🔥 🔥 Thank you for this article. It’s quite timely (the part about cutting cord with elders, especially).

Expand full comment
author

Appreciate your enthusiastic feedback, Mike! 🙏 For me, the symbolic behind the psychological umbilical cord has been one of the greatest lessons to personal power. 😊

Expand full comment