Who are we when Out of Breath? - Some Martial Arts reflections

Reflections - Part 4

Shortness of breath, or dyspnea, is the feeling of not getting enough air into your lungs. It can show up as difficulty breathing, rapid or shallow breaths, or the sensation of being unable to catch your breath.

It’s normal to experience this occasionally during intense exercise, particularly when pushing your body harder than usual.

Surely, if shortness of breath becomes persistent or unusually intense, it could be a sign of an underlying problem that needs to be addressed.

However, in this article I will focus on those normal experiences of shortness of breath, and its impact on one’s psychology state and fighting spirit.

Let me share an experience from a while back:

I was in a grappling jiu-jitsu match with someone I considered a rival. You know, usually in these cases the competitive spirit burns even more because some Ego mechanism intervene. The match was intense, lasting about 5–6 minutes, if memory serves me right. We had already gone through several rounds with others before this, so we were both exhausted, close to our limits.

There was a moment where we were both out of breath, barely holding on. The only thing keeping us in the fight was sheer willpower, driven by ego and the determination not to give up. For me, during those moments, time seemed to stand still, and afterward, I realized that in those moments, a whirlwind of powerful thoughts rushed through my mind, stronger than ever.

These thoughts were like a chaotic flurry and were like this:

• "I'm afraid I won’t be able to move freely to defend myself."

• "Damn it, I can barely manage to attack."

  Then concern escalated when fear kicked in:

• "Why did I agree to fight another round when I knew it would come to this?"

• What if he gets me and I lose? No. I can’t allow that to happen.

• "I can’t think of a solution. Is this it for this match?"

  Then there were the opposing thoughts:

• "Keep going. If you give up now, you’ll regret it."

• "Don’t be a coward."

• "There’s no way I’m giving him the satisfaction of seeing me throw in the towel."

Thankfully, I chose not to back down, and the match continued until the coach stepped in and ended it for us hard-heads.

My reflection on this experience

Reflecting on this experience, it's incredible how quickly these thoughts unfold. You're hit with a flood of thoughts and emotions, which become even stronger when you lose the sense of security that comes from being energized and full of oxygen.

When time seems to slow down in these intense moments, we can discover or rediscover parts of ourselves, such as:

• The inner opponents that show up as insecurities, anxiety, and fear.

• The strength of our tenacity and willpower.

• How well we have our ego in check, and more.

I'm confident that many people who have practiced combat sports or other challenging sports have faced similar situations. If someone claims otherwise, they may not be fully honest with themselves, or others, may need more self-reflection, or perhaps, for some reason, their brain’s amygdala that triggers natural fear and survival responses is not working…

I believe it’s totally understandable to experience these fears and insecurities, especially during tough times. So, we shouldn’t beat ourselves up for simply feeling these emotions. I made that mistake. Just hearing that inner voice telling me to give up, even considering it for a moment, made me feel ashamed for the entire next day.

On one hand, this showed that my drive to improve and work on myself was strong, which is a good thing. But on the other hand, it was wrong to be so hard on myself just because I almost gave in for a moment. What truly matters is what we decide to do and how we act, not the fleeting temptations in our minds. This principle applies not just in martial arts, but in all areas of life.

Every day, people feel tempted for situations like quitting on their goals, to leaving a job due to insecurity, or walking away from a relationship or conversation out of anger. But the choices we make in those moments define who we are.

If we view these situations from a broader perspective, we might see them as "blessings in disguise." Why? Because during these moments, if we are aware of our thought processes, we confront inner opponents we need to overcome—opponents that may not appear as strongly in our everyday, ordinary circumstances.

The practice of consciously placing yourself in an “Out of Breath Situation” every now and then:

As they say, fire tests steel, and sometimes we might need to check ourselves how we respond when we're in tough situations. Don't get me wrong—endurance and cardio are crucial for athletes and martial artists. Without them, even the best tactics and strategies can't be executed effectively in competition.

But just as we condition our bodies, we also need to condition our psychological strengths, and these are best conditioned when we are in a tight situation, like the example I shared with you, dear readers. Of course, if one has a physical illness, it’s important to avoid putting themselves in stressful situations. But if one is healthy, it’s important to challenge themselves to strengthen their tenacity and willpower.

These traits can be trained, and if neglected, they can weaken. In fact, many neuroscience studies confirm this, showing that a part of the brain becomes denser and slightly larger when we train our "tenacity muscles." This phenomenon is known as neuroplasticity, where the brain changes and adapts in response to new experiences, learning, and training.

This reminds us that ancient warriors didn’t advise to train in difficult conditions for nothing. Many, like the samurai, encouraged facing what we fear as a way to build resilience.

In my martial arts journey, I’ve seen many great fighters I know personally apply this by using oxygen deprivation masks during sparring and bag work. This not only helped them build tenacity, but also served as a tool for self-reflection—revealing where they stood on their path as warriors and identifying the insecurities that surfaced during certain periods.

When an enemy is clear and visible, it’s easier to confront them. The same can be said of our inner adversaries, like fear and insecurity. When we're troubled by these inner opponents but don’t fully understand what they are, they torment us even more. However, when we bring them to the surface through practices like these, we can address them and develop strategies to overcome them. This is like the spiral path of a warrior, facing the same battles at deeper levels over time.

There are also philosophical applications of this approach. For example, it is said that kings like Harun al-Rashid would disguise themselves as beggars, wandering the streets to observe their people and ensure justice, while also experiencing life from a tougher perspective. Similarly, practicing small challenges—like turning off your smartphone for a day—can test your resilience against modern-day distractions and addictions.

These practices test our foundations and, more often than not, help us strengthen them.

The place between Weakness and Forgiveness toward ourselves.

If we are determined to forge a strong character, tenacity, and other forms of inner strength for the sake of our path and for those we hold dear, we must remain vigilant and not tolerate our whims and weaknesses.

However, on the other hand, we must understand that we are feeling creatures that happen to have the ability to think. Therefore, there are many internal elements that clash within us every day. Our level of consciousness is not always at its best throughout the day; it has its ups and downs, just like our mood might.

In psychology, there's a concept known as Cognitive Dissonance, which refers to the mental discomfort we experience when holding two or more contradictory beliefs, values, or attitudes. This dissonance often arises when our actions don't align with our beliefs or when we face conflicting desires or decisions. For example, we might value discipline and self-control, yet find ourselves indulging in habits that undermine these principles. The internal conflict that ensues can be a powerful source of stress and confusion.

The key to managing cognitive dissonance lies in self-awareness and a commitment to our values, for sure. But there will be always a segment in our life where we can’t erase cognitive dissonance, and we will be contradictory. Why? Because we are far from perfect, of course.

Therefore, while it's essential to commit to our values, vision, and path to align with our purpose—or for a Zen practitioner, with the present—we must also show understanding and forgiveness toward ourselves during moments when we fall short of our strengths. However, this should be done carefully, without becoming an excuse for neglect, laziness, or dishonesty.

Let’s revisit my earlier scenario. Suppose I had given up during that match. While it’s natural to feel disappointed, what purpose would it serve to dwell on self-criticism? Instead, wouldn't it be more constructive to forgive myself, understand why I gave up, and find ways to resist that impulse in future situations? This is what it means to strike a balance between weakness and self-forgiveness.

Often, a weakness is a repeated pattern stemming from neglect, laziness, or other factors. But self-forgiveness is most valuable when we've genuinely pushed ourselves beyond our limits—when we've ventured far outside our comfort zone and are struggling to break through. In those moments, failure is understandable. It's okay to fall, gather yourself, and try again. But if we expend too much energy on self-blame, we risk depleting the energy needed to keep pushing forward.

Conclusion

The truth sets a Warrior Free, or makes someone who hasn’t awakened their Warrior Spirit worse.

Who are we when we're “out of breath”? In those moments, we might see ourselves as insecure, weak, or even as someone who acted out of fear. But we remain in that state only if we fail to reflect and take action. If we identify our weaknesses and commit to working on them, we are not cowards—we are simply people with a fear issue that we are determined to overcome. There is a great difference here.

This is one of the key differences between an ordinary person and a warrior. A warrior doesn’t suppress their weaknesses; they feel them, acknowledge them, and actively work to transform them into strengths. In these moments of struggle, we catch a glimpse of our true reality, and sometimes those realizations hit hard. But who hasn’t faced such rude awakenings?

What matters is how we respond to these truths. I know sometimes it hurts, sometimes it’s a hard pill to swallow, so it’s understandable to need a bit of time to process and adjust, but by embracing these truths, even if they are unpleasant, we become powerful, we become less dominated and manipulated by some insecurities, and ready to ascend to the other level of the Spiral, the Way of the Warrior.

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📌 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙥𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣.

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